Mind over matter

Day 9 – still going

Today was the greatest challenge I’ve faced yet: surviving a Sunday with Dad.


Walk in the woods near Dad’s houseĀ 

I love my father to bits, but he can have very strong opinions when it comes to food and drink. If you’re not having alcohol and munching on something when you’re with him, you’re clearly not having a good time. And he’s all about the good times.

Back when I was a teenager, I went through a phase of being a Buddhist. On a side note I have to say it is a great belief system and meditating really does solve most problems. But as part of this, I wanted to become a vegetarian, because of the reincarnation and loving all creatures parts of the faith.

This was going to be a struggle for me because I loved meat. Like seriously, if there was a BBQ going on, I’d be first in line in the queue to get them hotdogs. For Buddhism though, I was prepared to give this up.

I think it was this experience that first really tested my willpower. Because Dad was having none of it. Every morning he would cook bacon for breakfast, and when he cooked at the weekend he’d make all my favourite foods. To top it off, the teasing was relentless.

I lasted about 5 weeks. My budding Buddhist faith only a few weeks more (the two weren’t linked, I just decided organised religion wasn’t for me).

Dad 1 Willpower 0.

Another story that comes to mind is the great Fig Incident of 2004. My younger brother was 8 and could sometimes be a picky eater. We’d gone on holiday to Spain and there was a fig tree in our villa’s garden.

I tasted figs for the first time there, and they were delicious, but my brother wasn’t having any of it. Dad decided to make a big deal out of it and kept hassling the poor kid over and over until my brother was full on hysterical and retching.

Distressing stuff.

The point is, I get my ‘oh I’ll just have one more, it won’t hurt’ way of thinking from my dad, and I was a bit scared that he would convince me to break the rules today.

I’m pleased to announce that this didn’t happen. I survived smelling my favourite food (sausages) in the morning, plus a meal at the local pub with no alcohol and no chips. Winning.

The great thing about the Cambridge Weight Plan, at least for me, is that because all your meals are in sachets, you can just take them with you. I wasn’t hungry at the pub because I had already had my soup, likewise at breakfast.

Now I’m not going to say that the sachets are gastronomical delights, but they are tasty and filling enough to prevent slip ups.

What may prove to be more of an issue is my current alcohol restriction; but I think that one is worth a whole post in it’s own right.

For now, I’ll sign off by saying all is going well and the first meal out wasn’t *that* much of an issue.

Oh and that the sunset in London right now is super pretty. Seriously, I hope you all saw it!

Diet · Uncategorized

Do you even diet bro?

Day 6 – 600 kcal in 2500 out

First off, diet update. Today was weigh in day; a chance to see how it was all going. And I have good news: I’ve lost 8 lbs, shaved 2 inches off my waist and reduced my BMI from 33 to 31 (medically obese is 30, healthy is 25).

It’s a great first step and I’m feeling inspired to keep going. Thank you to everyone who’s had kind words for me, the support means a lot.


My stats

One thing you really notice when you start dieting, particularly on a very restrictive one like this, is how much food is a part of our identity.

It’s everywhere.

This weekend we went to a shopping centre and I was hit by a wall of forbidden aromas: bagels, pizza, burgers, popcorn, fried chicken, all things I can’t have anymore. The weird thing was, I hadn’t been hungry before I smelt those things, and once I left I still wasn’t hungry, but in the moment, confronted with that wall, I felt weak, ravenous, unable to go on.

I think of all the times I saw a delicious looking brownie, imagined the taste and couldn’t stop thinking about it until I eventually gave in and bought the damn thing. Work is a killer for that as there are a selection of freshly baked delights Every Single Day.

There are two things that have historically made me feel hungry: smelling food and visual prompts. If I’ve seen a pizza ad one day, it’s highly likely I’ll end up coaxing my boyfriend into ordering takeout with me that evening.

The silly thing is, now I’m not eating those things, I can see that I was never truly hungry in the first place.

I wonder if that’s the trick of ‘those with the gorgeous bods’: they realise they’re not hungry so don’t eat.

Or maybe they don’t eat because they wake up and love the fact they’re thin…

Everyone has their struggles. Mine is that I want to get down to a healthy weight then maintain it. Some struggle from the opposite end of the scale. Quite literally.

Food. Life giver. Endless source of conversation the world over.